Poems Of My Heart
by Trisforce
Summary: [Based off of poems I found on WattPad, no idea who wrote them.] Shiki always had psychological problems, but when the feelings deep inside come out, she has to face her demons. Contains self-harm and insecure thoughts, it's probably more M but I put it under T. Each chapter is a different poem.


Note: I do not own any of these poems, and I do not have any idea who wrote them. I thought of Shiki Misaki. It's poorly written but _I do not like suicides. At all. _But I had the urge to write them. I'm only planning on doing two, but hey, if you want more, PM or review me.

* * *

**_Don't Call Me Beautiful_**

_Don't call me beautiful_

_Unless you were there_

_When I was standing in front of the mirror_

_Crying because of how I look_

Shiki stood in the mirror, looking at herself in the new dress she made, along with the help of Eri. "_You are beautiful," _Eri smiled, poofing out the skirt of her dress. It was pink and poofy, to match her personality.

"Really? Do you think I could get that Neku guy to notice me in this?" Shiki asked, messing with her black-brown hair.

"You'll have every guy in Shibuya noticing you in that, Shiki. You're so pretty, I'm jealous. Totes." Eri said honestly, messing with Shiki's hair. "Maybe even a few dykes."

"Ew, don't talk like that, Eri. You know I don't- _we _don't swing that way." Shiki said, finally smiling.

"I don't know, you do look fine in that dress," Eri smirked, wrapping her hands around Shiki's small waist.

"Pervert," Shiki giggled.

"Only for you," Eri said. "Now I gotta put on my new pants and shoes."

"You made new shoes?" Shiki asked, turning around.

"Yeppers." Eri nodded, putting her hair up in a ponytail.

Shiki turned back, glancing at every imperfection in her reflection. Eri dug through her bag, looking for the other shoe.

"Gotta run, left the other one at my house. Make sure you know you look like a model in that dress, girl. I'll be back in twenty. Lates," Eri ran out, shoving her boots on and turning left. Shiki shut the door behind her, ripping the dress of immediately.

"I'm so dirty," Shiki whispered as she grabbed the tattered mirror behind the ϋber-girly one. This one had lipstick all over it in nasty, hateful messages.

"Ugly,"

"Dirty,"

"Slutty,"

"Whore,"

_"Plain."_

Shiki stood there. "Hate my nose, hate my hair, hate the fact I even care! Hate my wrists, hate my boobs, hate my butt. Hate my waist, hate my cheeks, hate my nails. Why do you love me?"

"You're beautiful, they said. You're pretty, they said. You wanna know what I say?"

"C'est vie, adios, good riddance, FUCK YOU!"

_Don't call me beautiful _

_Unless you were there_

_When I had my fingers shoved down my throat_

_And tears rolling from my eyes_

"Not again, nope." Shiki said, crying her eyes out until they burned on her face. She held up her fingers, and just slammed them in her throat. There was no point in fighting her gag reflex, she wanted to vomit. Over, and over, and over.

_Calling, someone is calling_

_Calling, someone is calling_

Shiki heard her phone go off. It was Eri, as normal.

"Gurl! Bryan wants to ask you out!" She squealed. It meant nothing if he wasn't Neku or a celebrity, right?

"Tell him I reject," Shiki said, silent tears running from her cheeks.

"Why?"

_Because I'm a monster. _"Because I want Neku,"

"You need to get _over _him! He's not even cute! Or nice!" Eri protested. Shiki could imagine her on her bed, stomping on it.

"Gotta go see you at Sunshine later."

_Don't call me beautiful_

_Unless you were there_

_When I dragged that blade across my skin_

_And waited to see drops of red_

Shiki stood at her bed, looking it over and crawling under it. Oh, the pencil sharpener blades. "My best friend," she whimpered, breaking the plastic parts off of one. She held it up, "shiny, perfect, untamed," she said in a low tone. "One to hold the harm, two to hold the scar, three to hold the pain, four you're way too vain." She sang, holding out her left arm and set it on her wrist, pulling it to her shoulder. She felt it pierce her skin, deeper and deeper. She wanted to cry. Instead, she tried to cut the vein, slashing at it. It burnt like a fiery hell, but she took pride in it. The blood marked her floor and her bed sheets, but it was worth it for a therapy.

She glanced at the painting on the wall. "You are beautiful," it was something her mother made her a while ago.

"Liar,"

_Don't call me beautiful_

_Unless you were there at 5 AM sitting_

_Crying on my bed about life_

_With thoughts of pills and vodka_

_Spiraling through my head_

Shiki opened the last pill bottle. It had 5 hits. "Five," she murmured as she took one and a chug of vodka.

"Four!" She yelled, chugging the vodka again.

She had four bottles, enough time.

_Is it angels_

_Is it devils?_

_Whispering in my ears…_

Her cell went off, indicating a message. Hey, Shiki. Where are you?

_Just in bed, watching Hannibal._

Well, a daily reminder that you are booty-ful. Btw can I crash at your place tomorrow?

Possibly. _If I'm not dead yet._

Shiki shut her phone, sighing.

She kneeled, sobbing into her pillow. Why was life so difficult?

_Don't call me beautiful _

_Please just don't_

_"_Don't."


End file.
